This Learn to Love Yourself – Self-Love Guide is very important and very personal to me because there was a time when I didn’t love myself, I didn’t even like myself.
That was a long time ago now and my life is very different. I love myself and my life. I want the same for you too.
In 2009 I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and cried. I felt like I was looking at someone I didn’t even recognize or know.
I didn’t like myself. Needless to say, that was not a good day for me but it was an important day.
Once the tears had stopped I knew I had to do something about it and I knew I needed to start building a much better relationship with myself. I needed to learn to love myself.
If you’re reading this and you’re not comfortable right now standing in front of a full-length mirror, look at yourself and say “I LOVE YOU” Then PLEASE stick with me and work through this Self-Love Guide with me.
This is a long post and there are lots of exercises to do in this challenge – Please take the time to complete every exercise. It will be worth the time and effort.
My love to you
Please know that however, you’re feeling right now that it is temporary. All feelings are temporary and can be changed, can be improved. You absolutely can learn to love yourself.
Know that you are not alone on this journey. Leave me a comment below. Say “Hi” and let me know that you’re doing this challenge.
All feelings are temporary and can be changed, can be improved. You absolutely can learn to love yourself.
Wendy Tomlinson
Please be kind to yourself on this journey – I’m putting myself firmly (virtually) by your side, ready to be your number one cheerleader.
Ready? Let’s do this.
About the Learn to Love Yourself Challenge
Our goal for this challenge is to be able to stand in front of a mirror, look at yourself and genuinely say I LOVE YOU and feel that love for yourself.
You spend every single second of every single day with your body, so it’s super important to love it, to love who you are.
If you don’t love or like yourself, you are filling your body with negative energy that makes you feel even worse.
When you love yourself, your energy flows freer and supports you – You feel so much better. It’s better for you and for the people around you.
Week One – Love yourself more
We’re going to just focus on a small mindset shift this week – When saying I love you to yourself and believing it seems too much for you, let’s just work on being open to liking yourself and loving yourself.
Belief – Perhaps I can learn to like myself – Love myself.
Sometimes when I ask people to say “I LOVE YOU” to themselves, they say they can’t do that.
This week I simply want you to be open to the possibility of loving yourself. Being able to say and mean I LOVE YOU.
Your affirmation – Week 1
The affirmation I want you to focus on this week is… I’m open to loving myself.
Fill your mind with these positive words throughout the day. Try putting a note on your bathroom mirror or bedroom mirror. Then say the affirmation to yourself when you look into the mirror.
Bonus – Have a read of this blog post Affirmations For Self-Love for more ideas
EFT Script – I’m open to loving myself
Set up – Tapping the side of your hand repeat – Even though right now I don’t love myself, I choose to be open to the idea of loving myself (repeat 3 times).
- Start of the eyebrow – Perhaps I can learn to like myself
- Side of the eye – Perhaps I can even learn to love myself
- Under the eye – I am open to liking myself
- Under the nose – I am open to loving myself
- Under the mouth – I now choose to be kind to myself
- Collarbone – I now choose to go easy on myself
- Under the arm – I’m open to liking myself now
- Top of the head – I’m open to loving myself now
Please do at least 3 rounds of this EFT script. The more the better to release negative emotions and beliefs.
I recommend that you do this EFT script several times this week. If you’re new to EFT – Please read EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques – How to tap
Achievements list
I want you to create an achievements list – This is anything that you are pleased to have achieved throughout your life. Think of life experiences as well as things like qualifications.
Here are a few examples of my own…
- I learned to drive
- I am a qualified Life coach, Law of attraction Practitioner, EFT master practitioner
- I run 3 blogs successfully
- I am a great mum (my son agrees most of the time)
- I gave my gorgeous dog a loving home
- I am a good sister, daughter…
- I completed a whole month of walking 10,000 steps with my dog to raise money for RSPCA
The purpose of this exercise is to create a positive mindset where you think in a positive way about yourself.
WEEK ONE RECAP
- Affirmation – I am open to loving myself
- EFT SCRIPT – I recommend that you do this daily or at least 3 times this week to release any negative emotions.
- Complete your achievements list
Week Two – Love yourself more
This week I want you to start a journal. Any notebook will be absolutely fine. If you prefer, set a time of day each day to simply focus on the exercise I’m about to share with you.
Write down or focus on 3 things that you like about yourself – This may be a hard thing for you right now but please stick with this exercise.
When I first started doing this exercise, I focused on my eyes. I like my eyes. But some days I couldn’t think of anything else I liked. But I forced myself to find something – 3 things.
- I like my eyes
- I like that I am a nice neighbour
- I like that I can see my lovely son.
Then I would think about it a bit more and I could change that to I love my eyes, I love that I can see my lovely son. I love that about my body.
That shift in thinking is incredible. You just need to start thinking about things slightly different. Learn to love yourself.
Your 3 things don’t need to be specific about your body but they do need to be about YOU.
Learn to love yourself body scan
I would like you to do a body scan – Start with your toes and move up your body to your head.
My toes? There’s nothing special about my toes – But I would definitely miss them if I didn’t have them, so I choose to send love to them.
My feet allow me to walk, to explore, to get me from one place to another. Sure they hurt some days and they’re a bit ugly (I have a weird bone that I’ve had since being a child – It looks like a bunion) but they are mine and I choose to send them love.
You can definitely acknowledge what you don’t like but also try to find something positive to say about that particular area of your body too.
Finish each area of the body scan with I CHOOSE TO SEND LOVE TO THEM or I CHOOSE TO SEND LOVE TO IT.
This is a powerful exercise.
EFT – for parts of your body that you really don’t like
As you do your body scan, note down the areas of your body that you don’t like. I want you to tap on those specific areas.
Focus on only one area per EFT tapping session. So you would do a full EFT session focusing only on your arms, then another completely different session focusing on your legs
This is the basic script – I will use the example of I hate my arms.
Set up – Tapping the side of your hand – Repeat 3 times – Even though I really hate my arms (you can add how you feel about them such as because they are so fat and ugly…) I now choose to love and accept myself anyway.
IMPORTANT NOTE – Saying that you accept yourself now does not mean that you don’t want to change it.
Next at each of the tapping points, you simply say – My arms
Eyebrow – side of the hand – under the eye – under the nose – under the mouth – Collarbone – under the arm – top of the head. Do a few rounds. The more you hate it, the more you’ll want to do.
What will happen, is that you release the emotions connected to that area, keep tapping until you can look at the area and feel okay about it.
Week two recap
- Start your daily journal – adding three things that you like about yourself or your body
- Do the body scan exercise
- Do EFT tapping on specific areas of your body that you really don’t like
Week Three – Love yourself more
Moving on from last week’s body scan, let’s take that a step forward. Do the body scan again, starting with your toes and moving to your head and actually say I love you to each part of your body.
I love my feet, I love my toes, I love my ankles, I love my legs, I love my knees…
Even if you don’t yet believe these statements, please do this exercise.
Keep up with your journal
Keep doing your journal or focusing on 3 (or more) things you like – love about yourself. Try to make the 3 things specific to each day.
For example…
- I like how my hair looks today
- I like that I have been out on a nice walk today
- I love my eyes and that I am able to see my son
- I love my mouth and I love that I am able to tell my son that I love him
- I love that I can hear my son tell me he loves me
- I love my fingers. I love that I can use them to write this blog post
The more you do this exercise the more your subconscious mind gives you things to love about yourself.
And remember they don’t need to be specific about your body.
- I love that I got to speak to my elderly neighbours today and I could tell that they liked spending a little time with me.
- I love that I got to drive my son to college and have a chat with him about his plans for the following college year.
- I love that I get to work from home and choose when I work
- I love that I really care about my readers
Being a nice person is really important to me and in reality, I’ve always been a nice person but I used to always focus on what I didn’t like about myself. Get into the habit of noticing the nice things, the things you do like and love about yourself.
EFT – I’m learning to love myself
Remember that it’s okay to still have resistance to these statements. The tapping will help to release those feelings
Simply repeat the statement – I‘m learning to love myself at every tapping point – Eyebrow – side of the hand – under the eye – under the nose – under the mouth – Collarbone – under the arm – top of the head.
I encourage you to do this several times this week and at least 3 rounds per session. Ideally, I’d like you to do this a couple of times every single day this week.
Week 3 recap
- Repeat the body scan saying I love my… (from toes to the top of your head)
- Keep up with your journal
- Do the EFT sessions recommended
Week Four – Love yourself more and more
This week we’re going for it. I want you standing in front of a mirror – Ideally a full-length mirror and say “I LOVE YOU”
I first learned about Mirror work from Louise Hay – the full statement is I LOVE YOU – I REALLY LOVE YOU.
When you see yourself in the mirror, I always want you to be saying something really nice to yourself. I want you to be your very best cheerleader.
Even if you don’t feel ready, I want you to just go for it.
AFFIRMATIONS
I love you – I really love you – I totally love you (say these to yourself)
I’m not perfect and that’s okay – I totally love and accept myself.
One of the affirmations I also like to support myself is “I’m doing great”
EFT Script
I encourage you to do daily EFT this week – We’re just going to jump straight in this week. Keep your focus on yourself
- Start of the eyebrow – I love and accept myself
- Side of the eye – I love you
- Under the eye – I really love you
- Under the nose – I love and accept myself
- Under the mouth – I love you
- Collarbone – I really love you
- Under the arm – I am totally unique and I love myself
- Top of the head – I love and respect myself now and always
Other EFT statements you can use…
- I am special
- I am unique
Loving blanket exercise
I want you to spend time this week doing this loving blanket exercise. It’s a visualization exercise and it’s incredibly powerful.
Close your eyes and imagine that someone who loves you unconditionally (this can be yourself) is putting a huge blanket of love around you. You don’t need to be able to see the person and you don’t need to know who it is, you just need to know that this is done with love.
As the blanket surrounds you, you feel the love hugging you. Feel the love flowing into your body, filling your body with love.
Stay with this image and feeling for as long as you can. Come back and do it regularly. If you’re new to visualizing, it may feel odd to start with. keep doing it and it will become more and more natural.
NOTE: You can also use this visualization to send love to other people. It’s very effective.
Week 4 recap
- Say I love you to yourself whilst standing in front of a mirror
- Fill your mind with affirmations
- Do the EFT session (ideal daily)
- Do the blanket of love exercise
Keep going
Well done, I really hope that you’ve done all the exercises that I’ve recommended each week.
I want you to keep going on your Learn to LOVE YOURSELF journey.
- Keep filling your mind with positive statements – Affirmations and self-talk
- Keep up with your Love Yourself Journal
- Keep doing EFT to clear negative emotions connected to your body
- I strongly recommend some daily EFT tapping such as I love and respect myself
- Every morning and every night look at yourself in a mirror and say I love you
- Every single time you spot yourself in a mirror, or shop window… say something really nice to yourself about yourself.
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Other posts to check out
Keep yourself super motivated during this challenge. Fill your mind with positive messages – positive information that will support you.
5 Ways To Improve Self-Esteem Starting Today
It’s Safe to Explore and Acknowledge Your Emotions
10 Powerful Ways To Increase Your Happiness Levels Every Day
Daily positive affirmations – Helping to make every day a great day
Sending love and happiness your way.
Wendy xx
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Please Pin and Share this post – Thanks so much
Lorraine says
started today my 4 week challenge
Wendy says
Hope you enjoy it.